Rice. Tilapia. Vegetables. Adobo. Inay. Itay. Ate. Kuya. Bunso. Your
typical Filipino setting in the dining area can never be complete if one of
them isn’t present. Oh, and of course, plenty of drinking water to quench the
thirst and stress after answering your parents’ routinely question of, “Kamusta ang pag-aaral mo, anak?”
The Philippines, a collectivistic country,
shares a tradition with its fellow Asian and Hispanic countries: converting the
dining table into a conference room. Ever wondered why eating takes so long
even when the food isn’t that plenty?
Eating silently is awkward on most
situations. The sound of the metal utensils clanking onto ceramic plates becomes
deafening. To break this deafening silence, there will always be something to
suppress the noise—via turning on the TV or kwentuhan.
Sometimes, it’s both.
Another reason behind this is because
everyone just wants to catch up with everyone. After a tiring weekday, inay asks how your school was, and then
she asks itay something about his
work. Itay asks ate if she finally has a boyfriend, and then asks kuya if he passed his exams. Bunso says something irrelevant.
The cycle goes on a daily basis and it continues
on as you create your own family.
The ceremony all starts with inay calling (read: shouting) from the
dining area, saying that dinner is ready. Everyone goes there after the second
or third call, following the smell of the food. Whatever the viand is—may it be
canned goods or mom’s specialty—everyone, nevertheless, gathers like it was the
Last Supper. No one starts to eat unless everyone in the house is in the dining
area. It is disrespectful to eat ahead.
After one-fourth of each individual’s meal
has been consumed, the talking starts. The news, weather, school, love, work,
money, goals and ambitions in life—mostly anything under the sun is open to
discussion on the dining table, although it is an unspoken rule to never talk
about family problems while eating as it ruins everybody’s appetite.
The discussion can last from 20 minutes to
an hour or so, depending on the topic. Everyone could be done eating and would
still continue to talk until they have some business to do. Drinking a glass of
water ends the ceremony and it concludes the meeting.
This kind of tradition is prevalent in most
collectivistic societies as depicted by media. Collectivism is implicitly
expressed by this practice as we try to connect ourselves to the other and to
openly bond ourselves as a whole group. Individualistic societies also exhibit
this, but let us keep in mind that the two extremes act as a spectrum and all
societies are dynamic, thus collectivism and individualism can be found in
different intensities in all societies. The point of this article is to
recognize the essence of collectivism in the dining area, which is not
exclusive to the Filipino society.
What could be mentioned, however, is the
fact that collectivistic societies do have one thing in common—everyone must
start eating if and only if everyone is ready to do so.
Rudenstam, O.
(2012, October 5). Individualism vs.
collectivism. Retrieved May 1, 2015, from
https://blogs.law.harvard.edu/orudenstam/2012/10/05/individualism-vs-collectivism/
-Myca Averion
-Myca Averion
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