Yayahood

The phenomenon of yayahood, a term we like to call for the social role being perform by household helpers as a substitute for the parents when they are not around, is something of prevalent in the Philippine setting.  They usually take the obligation of nurturing and taking care of the kids.

Here are our different opinions and experiences with the pervasiveness of yayahood.

“Child-rearing, an important responsibility of parents, can both be difficult and rewarding at the same time. Due to changes in lifestyle, some of these parents cannot fully commit or lack time rather in doing so. Families then hire maids to assist in daily chores which may include child-rearing. Majority would only see the advantages that this offers, but overdependence creates several disadvantages that should also be given attention. Mother-child bonding relationships may be impaired due to the presence of maids. Some studies have found that attachment begins in the womb, and women with higher levels of maternal–fetal attachment are more likely to breastfeed than those with lower levels of maternal–fetal attachment. With the absence of the mother, bottle-feeding seems to be the alternative. But then again, the attachment between the child and the mother weakens. The blame should not be put on a child when for example, given a certain situation, he/she chooses the maid over the parents, the mother in particular. Also, this does not imply that refraining from employing maids will be the correct course of action.”                            – Leah Anthea Dela Cruz

          “For some reasons, maybe for the betterment of their economic stability, some families consist of both parents working. In accordance to this, there is less time available for them to do things for their children like cooking, washing and ironing their clothes, playing with them, and such. This is when the presence of nanny is needed to do such things while the parents are not home. The thing here is the children may get more attached to their nannies than their parents since there is more bonding time between them than the latter one. The parents might also miss to witness the small details about their children growing up. Some of the relationships between mothers and nannies experiences jealousy on over-attachment between the nanny and the child. When an upset child reaches for a “shadow mother” over her real mother, how does the mother feel?

 If there is really a need that both of the parents will work for the family, then the nanny to be hired must be well-chose. What if the nanny is not well-mannered? What if your child acquires her bad manners, whether intentionally or not?” – Michelle Agader

           Growing up, my parents were away on medical missions and late night hospital duties most of the time. So I kind of grew up with my yaya she was been with our family since my mom was a teenager. She was the only one who could put me to bed when I didn’t want to and the only person who didn’t get mad when I refuse to eat my vegetables. My parents were and still are my favorite people but having my yaya made things and situations better and lighter. She was like a mother, a sister and a friend rolled into one caring and loving person. My whole family is very supportive and they gave me everything I wanted, so when our yaya was asking my parents if she could take a break because she had gotten sicker and weaker due to her age. My parents asked me fisrt, I said no, but then I realized that she gave up having her own family and having her own kids just to take good care of us. She was so selfless that she spent major holidays with my family instead of hers. Every day after a wwek that she left, I was always looking at window or spending my time at our front porch waiting for her to come back, but she never did. I got so attached to her presence, and to her hearing her hum old songs as she cooked made me smile already, so when we got a new household helper who was much younger, I didn’t get the chance to let her in. ‘Cause a person who spends almost her whole life taking care of you and making sure you’re always okay and hat you’re genuinely happy is hard to forget and absolutely hard to replace.” – Alexis Bahatan