Memories last forever in our hearts

Sa simpleng bagay ay nagagawa ko nang maging masaya. Pero, may isang pangyayari sa buhay ko na sumubok ng katatagan ko bilang tao.

            Extended family po kaming nakatira sa bahay at isa nga po sa kasama namin sa bahay ay ang lola ko. Talagang malapit po kami ni lola dahil siya po ‘yung nag-aasikaso sa amin. Siya po ang gumigising sa umaga para ipaghanda ako, nagluluto ng ulam naming, naghahatid at nagsusundo sa akin sa eskwela noong ako’y elementarya pa lamang. Palagi po kaming nakakapag-bonding tuwing naglalakad kami papunta sa school. Kapag po may dumadaang mga magagandang sasakyan sinasabi po niya sa akin na pagbutihin ko daw po ang pag-aaral ko para balang-araw maisakay ko din daw po siya sa ganoong kagarang sasakyan. Lagi din po niya akong binibiro na ang tagal naman daw dumating ng panahon na ililibre ko siya sa tindahan ng biscuit at softdrinks. Natatawa na lang po ako kasi iniisip ko ang babaw ni lola. Isang araw, humingi po ako ng pera kay mama at nilibre ko si lola ng biscuit at softdrinks. Tinawanan niya lang po ako. Ang ibig daw po niyang sabihin ay ilibre ko siya sa unang sweldo ko, yun bang perang pinaghirapan ko na mismo.

            Mahal ko po ang lola ko kaso nga lang madalas po akong sakit ng ulo sa kanya. Madalas po kasi ay tamad ako at matigas ang ulo, siyempre bata pa hindi pa gaanong malawak ang isip ko. Yun nga lang, hindi ko sinasabi sa kanya kasi po hindi po ako sanay na pinapakita ko yung nararamdaman ko. Hanggang sa isang araw, huli na ang lahat. Nakatanggap po ng text ni mama na patay na daw po si lola sa edad na hindi pa maituturing na senior citizen. Noong mga panahong iyon ay umuwi siya ng probinsya kaya wala siya sa aming bahay. Mula sa mahimbing kong pagkakatulog, nagising po ako sa iyak ni mama. Wala na pong kailangang sabihin pa si mama sa akin noon, alam ko na po dahil sa usapan nila ni lolo sa telepono. Wala na ang lola ko. Wala na siya, ang lola kong palagi kong kasama na parang kahapon lang nakikita ko pang nakangiti. Wala na siya, hindi ko na maririnig ang boses niya. Wala na ang lola ko.

Ang hirap pong tanggapin. Ako po yung pinakamalapit na apo niya. Nagsisisi po ako sa lahat. Sayang yung oras noong nandito pa siya. Hindi ko manlang nasabi sa kanya na “La, thank you po sa lahat, sorry sa mga nagawa ko, I love you”. Kahit anong iyak ko pa sa kabaong niya, kahit ilang I love you pa sabihin ko, wala na. Hindi na niya ako maririnig. Hindi na siya makakasagot. Siguro nga po oras na niya talaga. Masaya na po siguro siya doon sa itaas kasama si Lord, wala na siyang nararamdamang sakit.

Sa totoo lang po, matagal na panahon bago kami makapag-adjust sa bagong buhay na wala siya. Pero kahit ganoon, nag-iwan naman siya ng masasayang alaala. It takes time to heal wounds. Memories last forever in our hearts. Kung mayroon man po akong lesson na natutunan sa nangyari, ito ay yung dapat tayong magpahalaga sa oras. Oo nga at nandyan pa ang mga mahal natin sa buhay, pero kahit anong oras maari silang mawala sa atin. Dapat bawat segundo pinapahalagahan. Sabihin na ang mga nais sabihin, hindi yung kailang wala na siya tsaka mo lang sasabihin. Huwag nating hintayin na tska mo lang malalaman ang halaga ng isang tao kapag nawala na siya sa iyo. We should treasure every moment. Dahil po sa pangyayaring ito, mas naging matured na po ako at lumawak na ang aking pag-iisip tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay sa mundong ito. Natutunan ko na rin pong magpahalaga sa buhay.

Everything has a purpose. This experience serves as my inspiration in life. I will apply the lessons I’ve learned to face the future. With God, I know everything would be fine if you just believe and trust Him. This experience made me stronger and defined me as a person.

-Michelle Agader

An Open Letter for My Sibling from another Mom and Dad: My Best friend

This is an open letter I dedicate to my sibling

The one who’s always there from the beginning

Sibling not by blood, but by heart and soul

Contributed a lot to my life to make me whole.

Of all my friends, that I have met,

You’re the one I won’t ever forget;

Someone who believes in me even if I don’t

I thank my lucky stars that I’m not alone.

When the waves crash on you,

I’ll appear to you out of the blue

And stay with you to be your clown

Until the rough oceans calm down.

Us drifting apart: a thought I couldn’t stand

That wouldn’t happen, something I hadn’t planned

If God would give me another life

I would still choose to be on your side.

-Michelle Agader

                                                                      

“How seems every Filipino is Related?”

Foreigners who visit the Philippines often get confused how come we have so many uncles and aunts, brothers or sisters, or in general, relatives. Sometimes to an outsider it’s like every Filipino seems related to everyone.

We, Filipinos, are taught to show respect to everyone we meet even before we learn to talk.  First of all we use the words po and opo to older people as a sign of respect. Another way of showing respect is using the words uncle or auntie, kuya or ate when talking to older people who are not even related to us. We use them when talking to jeepney drivers, sidewalk vendors, security guards and etc.

Uncle Para po!

Auntie, magkano po dito?

Kuya Guard pakibantay naman po tong bag ko o.

For an outsider this can get a bit confusing. One way to know if a Filipino is actually talking to his actual uncle or aunt is we would usually use the words Tito or Tita, but it should be noted that we could also use this for non-blood related family extensions. These are the people who are very close to our family or people who we have utang na loob to.

Utang na loob is a debt that cannot be paid with money or any material object. This debt may most usually be lifetime.  Utang na loob is created when someone does a big favor for us specially when we or our family was in a great need of help. Sometimes we may hear some statements from our parents like,

“Magmano (way of Filipinos to show respect to elders) ka kay Uncle Jhun at Auntie Bheybi mo, sila ang tumulong magpaaral sa akin noon.”

“Go bless to you Uncle Jhun and Auntie Bheybi, they were the ones who helped me in my schooling.”

 We do these things to towards people who are not even directly related to us by blood because of Utang na loob.

The Filipino value of family and appreciation can be observed through these practices. Our concept of a family is not only limited to those who are related to us by blood. We greatly consider the people who have done so much good to us as part of our families too – extended families.  Our deep appreciation of the good deeds other people have done for us and/or our family despite it being a good trait to us may sometimes be limiting.  We could not do the things we really wanted to do because they may upset or displease our extended families. We would enroll our child in a school even though we know it is not the best one there is but we only do so because one of the people who we have utang na loob to owns it. Another situation is we buy goods from a store owned by one of our extended family even though we know we can get better goods from another place but we are too afraid to upset them.

Having these traits and values in Filipino families is a good because it shows respect and gratefulness to people around us. These traits and values can create a strong bond between families inside communities therefore making them a more effective contributor of this humble nation. Despite its good effects on developing good relations between families we should not always try to please our extended families unto an extent that we are already forgetting our own families. These people have helped us some points our lives but our families have surely been there for us more than this people have.

It is good to please our so-called “uncles” and “aunts” and we should always respect them but we should never turn our backs on our families.

-Isaiah Mejia

Collectivism on the Filipino Dining Table

          Rice. Tilapia. Vegetables. Adobo. Inay. Itay. Ate. Kuya. Bunso. Your typical Filipino setting in the dining area can never be complete if one of them isn’t present. Oh, and of course, plenty of drinking water to quench the thirst and stress after answering your parents’ routinely question of, “Kamusta ang pag-aaral mo, anak?”

          The Philippines, a collectivistic country, shares a tradition with its fellow Asian and Hispanic countries: converting the dining table into a conference room. Ever wondered why eating takes so long even when the food isn’t that plenty?

Eating silently is awkward on most situations. The sound of the metal utensils clanking onto ceramic plates becomes deafening. To break this deafening silence, there will always be something to suppress the noise—via turning on the TV or kwentuhan. Sometimes, it’s both.

Another reason behind this is because everyone just wants to catch up with everyone. After a tiring weekday, inay asks how your school was, and then she asks itay something about his work. Itay asks ate if she finally has a boyfriend, and then asks kuya if he passed his exams. Bunso says something irrelevant.

          The cycle goes on a daily basis and it continues on as you create your own family.

          The ceremony all starts with inay calling (read: shouting) from the dining area, saying that dinner is ready. Everyone goes there after the second or third call, following the smell of the food. Whatever the viand is—may it be canned goods or mom’s specialty—everyone, nevertheless, gathers like it was the Last Supper. No one starts to eat unless everyone in the house is in the dining area. It is disrespectful to eat ahead.

          After one-fourth of each individual’s meal has been consumed, the talking starts. The news, weather, school, love, work, money, goals and ambitions in life—mostly anything under the sun is open to discussion on the dining table, although it is an unspoken rule to never talk about family problems while eating as it ruins everybody’s appetite.

          The discussion can last from 20 minutes to an hour or so, depending on the topic. Everyone could be done eating and would still continue to talk until they have some business to do. Drinking a glass of water ends the ceremony and it concludes the meeting.

          This kind of tradition is prevalent in most collectivistic societies as depicted by media. Collectivism is implicitly expressed by this practice as we try to connect ourselves to the other and to openly bond ourselves as a whole group. Individualistic societies also exhibit this, but let us keep in mind that the two extremes act as a spectrum and all societies are dynamic, thus collectivism and individualism can be found in different intensities in all societies. The point of this article is to recognize the essence of collectivism in the dining area, which is not exclusive to the Filipino society.

          What could be mentioned, however, is the fact that collectivistic societies do have one thing in common—everyone must start eating if and only if everyone is ready to do so.

Rudenstam, O. (2012, October 5). Individualism vs. collectivism. Retrieved May 1, 2015, from https://blogs.law.harvard.edu/orudenstam/2012/10/05/individualism-vs-collectivism/


-Myca Averion